There is no simulation good enough to prepare us for every scenario out in our field of work. What we do everyday is learn the hard way. We fight a war against crime every day, and serve the members of public within our means. Regardless of the rich, or the poor; the living, or the dead; The sane, or the insane. No job is more noble than this job.
No girlfriend.
No flings.
Now..?
No friends.
Maybe life really doesn’t want me to have attachments
so I could focus on my career.
Maybe it’s for the best.
But I’m crying out for a life to lead.
Life’s been too dull lately. I need colours.
For the record: When I was 19, a few of my juniors in my CCA thought I was a freshman (17 y/o).
When I was 21 (still am), my colleagues in the SPF guessed that I was done with my NS and joined when I’m 23.
So much for “kidface”.
What if there weren’t any religion to guide us.
That would mean no rewards of Heaven and no punishments in Hell for the after life.
Would people still contribute to charity, and abstain from what’s wrong yet tempting?
Few, obviously, sadly too. Just look at our current standing even with religions in place, this world is still a mess. If you’d read the papers, petty crimes happen as often as the Sun’s routine to rise and set.
Those who disregard God and his teachings are considered “unholy” or “blasphemous”. They disbelief in rewards after death, unthreatened by spiritual punishments for the crimes in their life time, and through all the disbelief they bare, they still practice the morally right things. This people deserve our respect, more than anyone of our religious leaders.
Unusual body odour/scent emanating from pits.
Unusual dreams about chicks came across daily.
Unusual urge to display affections to the other gender.
As title?
Wonder if someone more fun, more caring, more sincere than me is your new thing right now. Because you always said I was special.
I was fuming with rage when I saw their relationship status.
Even though I already knew and “got over” it.
Maybe it wasn’t about the fact that they were together.
More like how my friends could go and bless them with a ‘like’ to their status.
It made me feel alone.
Like even though I thought they were siding me, they still supported them.
A secondary sense of betrayal, I would say.
But the silver lining to this would be that with this relationship status put up, I’ll know when they break up.
Of course, there’s a chance he could be her one and only.
So I shouldn’t wait anymore.
I wanted to, because she’s so perfect to me.
BUT, wasn’t that how I felt about the other… 9 flings?
So, I’ll just walk on ahead, and in future if I were to turn back to look at her again…
… I would know, that she’s my heart’s desire.
I spent my entire Bangkok trip rationalising.
Convinced myself that its not about her that I’m feeling sad.
It’s the lost of a friend, a brother, a disappointment in a character, that brings this sorrow.
Never would have thought a kind man like him would be so unscrupulous.
One that I trusted with my feelings, one I felt was harmless, yet he wounded me like how I was in the past..
The story where I define how like-able a certain girl is and the listener falls for her to.
For years this has haunted me. To influence, that’s my talent, yet my curse.
But when I saw her at OC’s home yesterday, my flame of passion reignited.
Heart raced, I got nervous and tried my best not to look at her.
Damn it all, I thought I had closure already!
Maybe I was awaiting her reply to my letter still.
No, not maybe, still definitely am.
Then she came for the prawning with guys.
We had some quiet time to ourselves, spoke of our holidays.
It was like the happy chatty times during Ramadan. Before Charles.
When we parted I did not even shake hands as I wished her well, because I wanted a good bye hug that she would give, and though I was betrayed, I would never do the same.
But I was naive.
My heart still yearns for her after the night.
I wanted so badly to hear her voice again.
I wished there was HTA life so I could see her again.
But there wasn’t, and our separate divisional life would thus begin.
I hereby promise myself to stray away from the life with thoughts of wanting her around, as I admit defeat to the reality of never having a chance with her.
Perhaps my love was not meant for her, though that’s not how I feel.
This is hereby closure to chapter 晓芬.
